


In Freedom, Justice

by allisondraste



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Angst, Gen, Possession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 15:54:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20392273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allisondraste/pseuds/allisondraste
Summary: Anders thought he'd be able to leave Vigil's Keep unnoticed.  He thought wrong.





	In Freedom, Justice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [apostate (394percentdone)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/394percentdone/gifts).

Anders fumbled around in the dark, worried that even the smallest spark of light would alert the Keep’s other inhabitants to his escape. His hands trembled as he frantically collected his things, things which consisted of little more than his staff, some potions, and a few sentimental items that he could not bring himself to relinquish even though he knew he probably should. It was already bad enough that he had to leave his cat. Even if Ser Pounce weren’t such a stubborn beast and knew how to keep his kitty voice down, he would still be safer at Vigil’s Keep than wherever Anders was going.

Anders didn’t actually know where he intended to go, only that he needed to leave and it had to be tonight. Justice could suffer his selfish and amoral lack of motivation no longer. “Sloth,” he called it. A tad melodramatic, but what else was he to expect from such a lofty creature as Justice? It became harder with each passing day to draw any hard lines between himself and his passenger, and with each day he gained clarity of purpose he’d never known. It wasn’t enough to gain his personal liberty. Not anymore. He had to help his fellow mages to be free as well, and he would stop at nothing to ensure that it happened. He would kill if he had to. Die, if he had to. 

If his newfound mission also gave him a reason to abandon the Wardens, then good riddance! What was it the Warden-Commander said? Mages who become Wardens aren’t truly free; they just wear different chains. She understood, and the longer he stayed, the more the truth of that statement sank its teeth into him, dread seeping into his skin and bones. He had to leave, to escape that overwhelming fear, and to give Justice what he wanted. What he also seemed to want now. 

With his belongings in hand, Anders stepped quietly out of his quarters and shut the door behind him, making his way down the dimly lit halls. A shame he was no rogue. It would have made the sneaking about much more effective. As it was, he’d have to settle for making as little noise as possible and hoping he ran into nobody who’d care if he just disappeared. He made it out of the main hall without incident, down to the courtyard and past the makeshift market that stood barren in the dead of night, then finally to the main gate. The final barrier standing between him and the freedom he so desired. 

Just as he moved to walk through it, something flew past his head, nicking his cheek before landing with a _ thunk _into the door. He jumped and moved his hand to the stinging cut on his face. It wasn’t bleeding, at least. Then he turned to examine the arrow that protruded out of the door just beside his head. 

_ Bloody Nathaniel. _

Anders sighed, rolled his eyes and turned to face the Keep, where Nathaniel stood several yards away, bow in hand. “You missed.”

“I wasn’t aiming at you,” Nathaniel said matter-of-factly, “But be certain, if I do, I won’t miss.” 

Anders crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes as he stared at the other man. “That’s a little hostile, Nate, don’t you think?”

“Depends.” He shrugged and took a few steps forward. “Where are you going?”

“Don’t worry, mum! I’ll stay out of trouble!” 

Anders winked, but Nathaniel glared at him, unamused. It was difficult to guess his thoughts. He always had that same dour expression. Still, Anders knew him well enough to know that he’d absolutely object to desertion. 

“Listen,” he sighed. “This doesn’t concern you. Just… stay out of it.” 

“A fellow warden— a friend, even— decides to pack up and leave without telling anyone, and it is not my concern,” Nathaniel asked. He cared, apparently, which shouldn’t have been surprising considering the amount of time they’d spent together, but Anders was not accustomed to people giving a shit. At least not in any meaningful way. 

“Flattered, truly,” he remarked and then shook his head, “But no, it’s not.” 

“You swore an oath,” Nathaniel said, voice rougher but not raised.

“I know, and now I am breaking it,” Anders admitted, dismissively, watching as Nathaniel grew more and more frustrated. He was difficult to ruffle, but Anders knew how to hit a nerve. “I was never big on commitment anyway, but good for you. I see you’re still taking this all very seriously. I guess I’d have my head stuck up the commander’s arse, too, if I were you. It’s hard to feel like a disgrace if someone relies on you, right?”

“The commander happens to be a good person, and I am grateful to her, to the Wardens.” He paused. “You should be, too.”

“Why?” Anders snapped, his attempt to get under Nathaniel’s skin having backfired.“The Wardens have done nothing but give me nightmares, and I already had plenty of those to begin with.”

“Are you not grateful for your freedom? For your protection from the templars?”

“Freedom?” Anders laughed dryly, all humor drained from his voice. “You think _ this _ is freedom? Doing absolutely nothing wrong except being born, but having to join some _ cult _that requires you to corrupt your body and spend your days protecting thankless people, just to be allowed to live outside of a prison?

“I know that ever since you had your cozy, privileged, little life turned upside down you think you understand what it’s like to be oppressed, but you don’t, and you never will. You may be redeemed by your service as a Grey Warden. People might even begin to respect your family again and you’ll be forgiven. The world will _never_ forgive me for being a mage.”

“And you think running away from everything is the answer?”

“I-” Anders began, but couldn’t continue as Justice started to struggle against him, tugging at the back of his mind. He wanted to speak to Nathaniel. He wanted control. Anders resisted. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He promised. Despite his efforts, a blinding blue light burst out and overwhelmed him, then everything went dark. 

***

Nathaniel watched as Anders fought with something inside him, though he could not say what. A demon, perhaps? The mage brought his hands up to his face, shaking his head violently and shouting “no” over and over again until his skin cracked open, radiant blue light shining from the seams. Nathaniel’s fist tightened around his bow reflexively and he took a cautious step backward. What in Andraste’s name had this idiot done now? 

Anders settled and looked up at him, eyes glowing the same blue as his skin. 

“Nathaniel,” boomed a voice that was noticeably not Anders’, but familiar all the same.

He frowned in recognition. “Justice?”

“Indeed.”

“What have you _ done,” _he asked, stomach churning. He didn’t actually want to know the answer. 

“Kristoff’s body had begun to decompose to such a degree that I could no longer inhabit it,” Justice explained as it was some problem of logic, “Yet, there is still much to be done in this realm. I took your advice and sought out a new host.”

Nathaniel’s blood ran cold, recalling his conversations with the spirit. “This is… not what I meant. You can’t just possess someone!”

“This is not possession,” Justice argued, light glowing brighter in his fury. “I am no demon.”

“That doesn’t matter. If the wrong person sees you like this, Anders will be killed on sight.”

“Anders granted me permission to use his body, so that together we might improve the lot of mages in this world.”

“And just how do you plan to do that, Justice? If you intend to show the world that mages are not monsters, you aren’t going to make much progress looking like… this.” He motioned vaguely with his hand. “It will not end peacefully.”

“I said nothing of peace,” Justice stated, “I prefer peaceful solutions, but if none can be found, I will not hesitate to act.”

“And how does Anders feel about that?” Nathaniel crossed his arms over his chest and shifted his weight. “Or are you even taking his thoughts on the matter into consideration?”

“Anders would be content to take no action at all were it not for me. He would sit in his selfishness and cowardice, and allow his fellow mages to suffer.”

“As is his right,” Nathaniel protested.

“I am helping him.”

“I am glad you’ve convinced yourself of that little lie. Whatever you have to say to believe taking more of his freedom from him is ‘just,’ right?” 

“Silence mortal,” Justice commanded, and flames sprang forth from his hands. 

Nathaniel moved to dodge them, but wasn’t quite fast enough, and the fire crashed into his side, searing and burning his skin. He fell to the ground and clutched the wound, hissing in pain. He looked back up to address Justice again, but Justice was gone. It was Anders who stood before him now, eyes wide as he looked from his hands to Nathaniel and then back to his hands.

Nathaniel wished he’d never spoken to the spirit at all, let alone give him any ideas about finding a new body. Justice would have likely arrived at that conclusion on his own anyway, and Anders was stupid enough to say yes to his request. However, he couldn’t shake the feeling that this was his fault.

***

“Nate,” Anders said, disoriented, blinking as he observed the man on the ground before him with a burn on his side that hadn’t been there before. Had he done that? He couldn’t remember anything. “What happened?”

Nathaniel laughed and shook his head. “Justice? Really?.”

“You… spoke with him then?” 

“Yes.” Nathaniel said tersely, looking down at his wound and then back up at Anders, narrowing his eyes, “We talked.” 

“I’m sorry, for what it’s worth. That’s the first time he’s done that.” Anders moved forward and knelt beside him, examining the scorch marks more closely, “I could heal that, if you-“

“I’m fine,” Nathaniel said through his teeth, flinching as Anders attempted to touch him. He grunted in pain and moved to stand up. “I will have Velanna or the commander take a look at it.” 

“But-“

“Just go,” Nathaniel shook his head and pointed to the gate forcefully. “That’s what you want isn’t it? I won’t stop you.”

“What changed your mind?”

“I think it’s best if the others don’t see what I saw.” Nathaniel stared intensely, and Anders shifted, uncomfortable. 

“Right,” he said with a nod, realizing that Nathaniel intended to keep his secret. He wondered what it had looked like, how Justice had been, and why he’d attacked. There was a big, dark gap in his memory. “Thank you, Nate. I guess this is, uh, goodbye then.”

Anders turned to walk away, toward the gate, but was stopped when Nathaniel caught his arm, roughly. It kind of hurt, but he figured that was intentional. 

“Don’t do anything stupid.”

“That’s rather vague don’t you think?” He laughed even though he knew it wasn’t funny. 

Nathaniel scowled more deeply. “Just... remember yourself without Justice. As much of an arse as you are, it’s better.”

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to,” Anders replied, flinching at the quiver in his own voice.

“If that doesn’t bother you,” Nathaniel said, his words much gentler than his grip, “It should.”

With that, he released Anders' arm with a slight shove, and turned to head back inside the Keep, still clutching at his side. Anders stood silently for a moment, Nathaniel’s warning ringing in his ears, before he walked through the wooden gates and away from the Wardens for good. 


End file.
